L-Town

It is our last day in London and I think we are all ready to move on to Germany. It's my fifth time here and it seems odd visiting and seeing the sights when a few months back this was my home. Yesterday we visited LCC where I went to school in May. It was great walking through the school again and being able to share my experience with Andrea and Lindsey. We visited Alex, my tutor we we worked with in the letter press room. From there we visited the school's library and spent FOREVER just looking through all their design books and becoming inspired and excited for what the semester will hold for us. We also visited my old neighborhood and had fish and chips at the Chelsea Potter and shared a jug of Pimms.

I've realized a lot in these few days in London. For one, I'm ready to move on. When I once thought this could be the place for me I see that God may have me go elsewhere, and I'm actually okay with this. I was so set on this being my home and now that I'm here, I'm ready to experience new things. I think we are looking forward to getting settled into Rome and not living out of a suitcase.

But for now, I think I will enjoy my black coffee at the Natural Cafe and experience a beautiful day in London, who knows when I will return again.


ummm it seemed like the thing to do at the time...

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I like type. I Like large type.

amaze

I leave tomorrow for Rome and God has granted me such peace today. I feel content, and I am thankful. I realized how much God cares for me the other day. I am amazed. I am amazed that He would give so much attention to the tiniest details of my life. I have not words to describe how amazing God is. I am so excited to keep falling in love with Jesus and continue to know Him more intimately. I know changing my surroundings and being vulnerable in Rome will only deepen our relationship. I cannot wait.

beagles everywhere...

So everything is winding down before I head off to Rome. I visited two of my friends from London in Michigan this weekend. It is amazing to me how easy it is to make friends, when you did not even know these people existed a few months ago. And now I drive four states to see them. I cherish the way God provided for us all when in London. The three of us agreed that it would have been a completely different experience sans one of us. And how wonderful was it to be able to talk about our funny stories and relive so much of our laughter because no one else has any idea what it was like, and probably doesn't want to hear about a lot of it either. I wanted God to strengthen me on this trip and as I read a short passage out of Mark He did just that. It was of the greatest commandment. To love God first, and then your neighbor. And I thought okay Lord, these people I am with this weekend are my friends and neighbors and I want to do all I can to serve and to love them. It was a great reminder of how we should be living our lives always.

I am thankful that I am spending the next four months with my two best friends from college. They are AMAZING and we haven't really talked talked since May. For once I am looking forward to a long plane ride to catch up on everything. I realized how wonderful friends really are, and just reading through 1Samuel today I loved so much to see the relationship between Saul's son, Jonathan, and David. As David was fleeing Jonathan's father, who was trying to kill him, "Jonathan went to David at Horesh and helped him find strength in God." 1Sam23:16. He not only helped him escape Saul earlier, but he came to help him find strength in God. Wow. I also realized tonight how funny the Bible can be. It talked of David pretending to be insane and drooling on his beard. And then it says that Saul went in a cave to relieve himself. I think it's hilarious, and it just shows God's sense of humor and that these people in the Bible are REAL. Not just stories. haha.

So today, as I was going through boxes of clothes for my mom's garage sale, I realized how much money has been spent on me. How this piece of clothing seems so vital at the time and then it is shoved in a box and scoffed at becuase it is no longer in style and you would NEVER wear that again. I was saddened by how much I had never really worn and how I still desire more. Maybe it's good that I've taken to shopping at Salvation Army. Although material is material no matter where you get it.

So in keeping with my style. I am leaving a new friend behind who I just met. As always I am completely blind as to what will happen, how we will change over the course of four months and what God's plan is. But in everything we must be content. I think I've also been doing much better in not becoming overly anxious of my future. For a while it is all I thought about. All I dreamt of. And I don't believe there is much wrong in this, but I also want to hear what God is telling me and accept where He takes me.

For now, I am being taken to Rome. Let us see what happens.

i design better with type than i do with imagery

my revelation for the day.
haha. and there's no g in design. i'm such a pro.

He's right here by our side

So God has been speaking to me. And it's because I'm finally asking Him to. I'm giving Him my time and waiting for Him. It's not that God hasn't been there, but I have been so consumed with myself that I haven't heard what He's been trying to communicate to me. Today I sat on a roof. My roof acts as a porch or a yard, that I wish I had to sit outdoors. But I sat on this roof and just wrote. I wrote all that I was thinking, all that God has been showing me—at least what I've caught on to so far. And when I was done I knew I needed to be with God more, so for the first time I sat in the middle of my room in silence, just listening for God. Usually I pray to God, or take walks and talk to Him or resort to "i'll just pray to him as I fall asleep." But I knew that in all of these things, I haven't been giving him my full attention. Or I've just been talking but not waiting for His input. So we sat in my room today and I asked Him to shape me, to prepare me for my future.

I understood that I've been hurting my body by the way I work out, because it's not for God. It's for me and vanity. I want to be strong so I can use my strength for a purpose. I also asked God to show me myself through His eyes, not the worlds. I don't want to evaluate myself by the world's take on what beauty is, I want to understand God's definition of beauty. And as I opened my eyes I looked down at myself and saw my scars, my bruises, and dirty finger nails. I realized that all of these markings told stories of my life. And through those stories they have shaped me and helped me to grow into who I am right now. These journeys are what make someone who they are on the inside. It doesn't matter what my face looks like, what the shape of my body is. It's what God is doing on the inside that makes a person radiate. I pray that I can understsand this concept more fully each and every day of my life.

I realized a lot yesterday when a friend of mine was talking about worship and how we have it screwed up. Worship is something intimate, and yet we do most of it in church in a room full of people. We wouldn't spend our most intimate times with a husband or friend in a room full of strangers, we want to be alone with them, have their undivided attention. So it makes sense to worship God, to the fullest, in an intimate setting, just you and Him.

So I suppose I'm writing all these personal things for those who may have never sat and listened for God. Try it, I was amazed that I never had.

love

I am starting to listen to God more. He says that my life should be radiating His love, just as Moses was radiating after he came off of the Mountain from being with God. I think I will listen.