detail.

Here I am. Thursday morning, drinking my black coffee—listening to Feist—already having called some firms in London. I have now resorted to emailing them because most were in meetings when I called and the headset I was using for Skype started to short out on me. Anyway, today is one of the better mornings I have felt decent. I was a little down yesterday after calling so many firms and none seem to be hiring or none see any talent in me worth taking a chance on. Understandable. I realize this is not an easy process.

Here is my desk that I work at every morning. I made myself a little sign to make me laugh at myself above my computer. I like how the bronze statue of Poseidon happened to come on my screen, as well.


So yesterday as I was a little dispirited I decided to walk to the post office to mail off a design package to the UK. I wanted to walk some more to get exercise and clear my mind so I ended up walking across town to Fareway to pick up a few things. It's amazing how this is a pretty far walk in Ames, yet it is about the equivalent we would walk every day in Rome to get to class. I miss walking in a big city. As I was walking I thought of the book I am reading that Brooke gave me to read for a graduation gift (it is one of the best gifts I have received.) It really brings me back to the details and importance of life. All it is are little entries by a Japanese girl over a thousand years ago. She is lovely and writes about hateful things, elegant things, birds, and trees. It amazes me how beautiful her words are and yet how simple it all is. I want to look and feel the world in this way.

Things That Make One's Heart Beat Faster
Sparrows feeding their young. To pass a place where babies are playing. To sleep in a room where some fine incense has been burnt. To notice that one's elegant Chinese mirror has become a little cloudy. To see a gentleman stop his carriage before one's gate and instruct his attendants to announce his arrival. To wash one's hair, make one's toilet, and put on scented robes; even if not a soul sees one, these preparations still produce an inner pleasure.
It is night and one is expecting a visitor. Suddenly one is startled by the sound of rain-drops, which the wind blows against the shutters.
—The Pillow Book of Sei Shonagon


Once again I am reminded to enjoy the details in life. That I can only do so much for my future and the rest is trusting in God. That I need to keep trying and doing what I can but there is a lot that is out of my control. It is good for me to have much of this out of my hands. That I cannot look to the past and wish life were a certain way. It is what it is and I am blessed to be where I am right now.