why not?

i'm having a hard time designing right now. my mind is everywhere. i get little bits done here and there but i need like a massive work time where i do nothing but breathe this design. my dad just called. made me cry because i'm a baby and get emotional over nothing. i was just thinking i wish it would warm up but honestly i don't mind the cold that much. -20 degrees is a little extreme but spring is too mushy for me. can we just skip to summer? i want to be tan againnnnnnnnn. ashely sent me my photo album from london. i left it at her place in michigan this summer. i've been thinking about london a lot lately. i've really got to get on top of things and send some work out. i wish i had the money to just move there. why do i want to go so bad? why not though? i can't help it. i need to be smart about it though, i mean i would really be alone; and yet that doesn't seem to really both me. maybe i just haven't really thought about it. i need to keep praying, i mean why would God want me to go there? but why not?

i sat and tried to do homework today; instead i ended up writing this on a scrap piece of paper...
"i can only base my ideas from my own experiences, what i read, and what i am told; experience having the most influence. this doesn't create truth from my ideas but it does provide a basis and reason. therefore, why not experience more challenging things?

i want to move to london and live. breathe. make it on my own and always know i will have a place to return to if it doesn't work. this life is not all there is. there are no excuses to be reckless or careless but there is no reason not to push yourself and the limitations that have been placed on your identity.there is a whole world out there with people who may need you to make a difference in their life. find them and emit God in everything that you do. this is part of why we live. perhaps it's time. "