the things you learn at twenty-two.

I feel as though my life is on pause right now. That I am not really existing. That I am in one of those movies where the character can freeze what everyone else is doing while he continues a monologue; soon he snaps his fingers and life resumes. I am in the frozen part, waiting for the main character to finish his monologue so that I can continue on my way. It's not that I'm not busy. I've been on the go continuously, I am just waiting for something to change in my life, and as hard as I try nothing is changing as of yet. I am patiently waiting to hear back from a firm in the Netherlands.

The fourth was spent at my grandparents house up North. My aunt and uncle and cousin and his wife were all there, along with my parents and brother. The last time we were all together was almost two years ago. Not only did I get to wakeboard with my dad's new boat, but my biggest achievement was learning how to clean fish. I did everything from chopping off heads to skinning them. I even found a surprise as I was cutting one fish's head off, he spit up another fish half digested. What a treat.



When I arrived home I found a letter in our mailbox. I found it strange that something would be sent to my parents address but I opened it to find my own handwriting. It was a letter we were asked to write to ourselves our senior year or highschool, and upon graduating college it would be sent to us. So here I am explaining who my friends are, what I had done the night before, the bands I listened to (which were Tegan & Sara and Kelly Osbourne) and how I thought I would have a cute boyfriend that I would meet in college by the time I read the letter. The thing that struck me the most was this paragraph

I definitely want to travel. I love Europe so much! I hope when I read this I will have been there many more times! You need to live there! Wouldn't that be great?! Oh Ya!
(I must have been very adamant the way I wrote in all those exclamation marks).

So I have been wanting this dream for a long time. I was telling myself to do it when I was at least 18 in highschool, and here I am trying to make this command to myself happen today at 22. Perhaps that's not that long of a time, but I have changed a lot since that girl in Miss Dumas' class writing this exclamation filled letter, and yet here I am still striving for the same things, and still listening to Tegan & Sara.