cold coffee. delight

There's nothing like drinking cold coffee from earlier in the morning.
I seem to enjoy food and drink the opposite of how they should be
consumed. Like cold vegetables or soup for example.haha.

It's funny how little bits and pieces in Ames remind me of past worlds and experiences. Last night I enjoyed a nice cup of black coffee at Cafe Diem. First, I hadn't had such strong coffee for a while because mine has been running out, so I've been trying to stretch it as far as it can go through the week, which means weak coffee. But what brought me to a prior world was the coffee mug itself. Pure white on a white saucer. It reminded me of the few times Andrea, Lindsey and I spent at the nearby book store in Rome. I can't even remember the name, even though I walked past it every day. It's one of those places that I saw and recognized but never encoded the name into my brain. But I love bookstores, just walking through, staring at the book covers, seeing how creatively books have been bound. I went there one day when I needed a break away from the busy Roman world. I found myself upstairs in the coffee shop enjoying a cup of black coffee in a white mug and saucer. I flipped through an Italian magazine and analyzed the design since I understood nothing more inside of it. There was a large window that looked out over the busy streets and the mysterious cat sanctuary. I sat and took it all in, the life I was living, the way I felt out of place yet I didn't want to go home. I don't think people understand a lot of times the way I like to be alone. I long for my friends when I haven't seen them and I would never want to be with out them, I just truly enjoy the time I have to myself
as well. the times where I can walk a strange city and explore, run in and out of stores, walk through a book store at my own pace and marvel at design and wish I had the time to read more; to talk and to pray with God.

It's funny how I experienced this whole scene in a mere second last night. That the person I was sharing coffee with had no idea these thoughts passed through my mind. I quite enjoy that there are words in my head that will never be spoken and poetry that will never be shared. It is part of my world, and if I even tried to vocalize this dialogue, the depth of my thoughts would only be lost.

I am joyful now. Even with the stress and pressure of school I am fine. I am fine because I do not know what is ahead for me. But I know I will be leaving. I love Ames, I love it in the summer when I am relaxed and can do the things I enjoy. I love Ames because I have met my best friends here; grown tremendously in my relationship with God, I feel like I've actually learned in school and am ready to do design as a job. I am ready to be used and to help people. To love and talk praise.

I am ready for an awakened dream