Rachel comes to town!

Rachel Johnson, an old friend from highschool, is living in Germany right now through 15 December. She sent word that she and a friend were coming to the Netherlands Tuesday night. So around 8.30pm I received a call that she was at my doorstep. Her friend dropped her off because he was visiting his sister outside the city. It was so exciting seeing one another; we quickly talked about what we wanted to do in the few hours we had together because they had to drive back to Germany to work in the morning. We decided to go to Amsterdam and walk around at night. But by the time we got to the train station to buy our tickets (little after 10pm) the ticket booth was closed and we didn't have enough change to buy tickets through the machines. We contemplated just getting on the train without a ticket and chancing it but there was also the problem that the last train out of Amsterdam was at midnight. Only giving us around an hour in the city. So we thought her friend could pick us up Amsterdam with his car. Except he drives a 2 seater Porsche and there would be 3 of us. So being the smart girls that we are we stayed in the ever exciting Hilversum.

It was nice though, we walked around the center city, even though everything was closed, and ventured out further than I had been before. The architecture here is wonderful; so different than any other part of Holland because the architect Dudok designed the city. We walked through neighbourhoods and found ourselves at the Raadhuis, the famous city hall. We took some pics, continued walking and popped into a nice looking bar where we had a pint of Wieckse Witte beer. We returned to my apartment sometime after midnight and Rachel and her friend left around 1.30am. We may try and meet up in Brugge, Belgium this weekend since she is leaving soon and it is Jamie's last weekend as well.

A Dutch roadtrip

It's only been a little over a week and I feel as though I have been here months. Thanksgiving was quite uneventful. Jamie and I went to the grocery store after work and tried our best to find turkey and pumpkin, none of which are easy to come by. We finally found some turkey lunch meat so we made ourselves turkey sandwiches. We tried 3 different stores to find pumpkin in a can but no one had any so we opted to eat some apple pie. We later found out we can find pumpkin at the nearby Turkish stores, so perhaps another time we will do that.

Friday I took the opportunity to see more of Holland with my new friend John. He is Jamie's roommate and after randomly bumping into him and having a drink last week, he invited me to go to the town of Wallwijk, where his parents live and see more towns out east. So after work, we hopped in a car equipped with Dutch raisin bread and Sinterklaas cookies for the hour and half drive. That evening I met his parents and I'm sure they weren't quite sure what to do with this random American girl coming into their home. But we ate dinner and talked about the differences between our countries. Then John and I headed to a nearby town, S-Hertogenbosch, the Bourgondic capital of Holland. We walked through the old city center and went to a pub where we met many of his friends and listened to a local band play. It's funny because the band spoke Dutch but all their songs were in English. This part of the night really reminded me of America. All the people hanging out, listening to a band play, and dancing to a dj afterward. John and I left sometime after 1am and stopped in Heusden, which is an old walled city. It was really neat to see this old city at night and walk through it to the harbor where a windmill sat on the hill alongside old cannons.

The next morning I had my first traditional Dutch breakfast, where I made a fool of myself. I have had two people assume I was Dutch before I began talking, but if this were a test I would have failed. They usually eat meat and cheese on bread in the morning. So I began by buttering my bread and placing a slice of meat on it with cheese. As I began eating John informed me that it was quite odd to eat the meat and cheese together. They told me they had never done it and it probably wouldn't be good. I thought this was odd since it was just like eating a sandwich but they thought I was crazy. Then I watched as John ate his bread with chocolate and vanilla sprinkles on it like we would put on a cake. Now I was astonished and his mom pulled out more boxes of different types of sprinkles you can put on your bread, even pink and blue for when a child is born. They gave me a special biscuit and had me try the pink sprinkles. They tasted like Good 'n Plentys but it wasn't too bad. I also tried a southern Dutch delicacy that his mom really liked, which you spread onto bread. John later told me I was eating pig brains!



After breakfast we drove to Ravenstein, where John had lived for a year while writing his thesis. This was a very small, quiet town and we walked along farm fields and through the cobblestone streets. I even saw two John Deere tractors! Below are some photos from this town. The one of me at the top is also from here.




Crazy trees!


After seeing this small town we drove into Nijmegen which was much busier and livelier. The city sits along the Rhine River, and we parked our car on the other side while walking across a large pedestrian/bike/train bridge.

John on the bridge with Nijmegen behind him.


This city is also on the border of Germany so there were many German touches. We walked through the streets, walked through the campus where John went to school and walked to the Roman ruins that look out over the Rhine. I also tried a Dutch treat called, stroop waffle. It was like two wafers with warm sugar in the middle. Very very delicious. From Nijmegen we drove into Kleve, Germany and also walked through the streets where everyone was doing their Christmas shopping. By that time it was getting dark so we drove back to the border and parked the car at the bottom of this hill. We proceeded to walk through the woods to get to a Dutch pancake house at the top of the hill. Dutch pancakes are much different than ours. They are thin and as big as a plate. You can get them sweet or with meat; I chose a salmon pancake with vegetables and John got a sweet apple one. It was a great place to eat because it is hard to find and not many people know of it, not even the Dutch! This picture is a view from the pancake house looking out at the woods.



Overall I had a wonderful experience traveling through the Netherlands and Germany. I saw so much I would have never seen on my own and experienced so many traditional Dutch things. I took the train home Saturday night and was exhausted. But so far I am learning a lot and being challenged daily here.

things I've learned…

Now that I am living in Holland, I pretty much have to relearn how to do everything I thought I knew. And am just learning things in general.

Thus far I have learned where the flusher is on the toilet and how to flush it.
After a cold night of sleeping, I learned how to turn my heater on.
Learning to look both ways for bikes; not cars (and it is extremely difficult to get a license in the Netherlands, it takes years and several thousand euro).
Bought myself a train ticket and learned no one takes credit cards here.
The sun does not rise until after 8am and sets around 5pm.
I am learning how to play darts.
Learning to say dutch words while sounding like I am hacking up my lunch.
The dutch have Hollands Next Top Model and Project Catwalk (not Project Runway).
No one has an oven.
St. Nicholas's Eve (5 December) is a bigger deal than Christmas.
Do not go into a café if you are looking for coffee, you will not find it there.

…to be continued

Sinterklaas!

Today I met up with Jamie and her friend visiting from America and we spent the day in Amsterdam. It's about a half hour train ride from Hilversum. Today happened to be the day Sinterklaas (Santa claus) arrives on a ship from Spain. We first saw his helpers, Zwarte Piet (Black Peter) scaling buildings and making their way down to the ground.



As we continued walking, we came upon a square where tons of the Zwarte Piets were running around, chasing children and playing games.



We even had a Zwarte Piet jump out of a bus and try and scare us. We just laughed. We continued on and made our way to the Van Gogh Museum. It was great taking the time to look at all his paintings and influences in his life. He really seemed to be admired and loved by his friends and family. As we were walking back toward the center of town we ran into the Sinterklaas parade, where we saw Santa and his helpers and a bunch of random people dressed up come through on horses. This is a shot of Sinterklaas, he looked more like a pope than anything.



From here we just wandered around, saw lots of wooden shoes, Heineken, prostitutes, weed, canals. The usual.



It was a nice day and it's so great that I can catch a train and travel to so many places in such a short amount of time. Tomorrow I begin my "real" first day of work since the bosses will actually be there.

Jamie and I, the interns…

address

send me mail here:

attn: Brittni Heisterkamp
Tarek Atrissi Design
Postbus 1906
1200 BX, Hilversum
the Netherlands

call me here:

011 31 64 869 1986

(011=international code, 31=city code)

lazy saturdayz

My first Saturday in the Netherlands. I spent it playing darts and Risk with Richard, my roommate. Tomorrow I am going to Amsterdam with Jamie.

I also had my first home cooked dutch meal, prepared by Richard—mashed up potatoes with sauerkraut and sausage.

kitty bitty

Here's the kit hanging out in my slaapkamer (bedroom).

clueless

I made it to the Netherlands successfully! All my flights were on time, I had an empty seat next to me on the plane, and no luggage was lost. I arrived in Amsterdam on Thursday and my coworker, Paul, was there to pick me up to drive me into Hilversum. We swung by the office to meet my boss, Tarek and the other 3 workers. After having some coffee and greeting everyone Paul took me to my apartment where I was introduced to my tiny yellow room, and some of my roommates. I live with Chris and Malenka (sp) who are married, Richard, who is 28, another roommate who I met briefly last night, and three kitties. As I write this, one of the kitties, has fallen asleep on my bed. He keeps sneaking into my room and snooping through all of my stuff. I caught him earlier hanging out on a shelf where I put all my sweaters.

Everyone here has been fantastic. Richard took me outside yesterday to show me the laundromat and bank, after helping me mop and clean my room. I later met, Jamie, one of the interns from Minnesota and she showed me all the shops and restaurants because they stay open late on Thursday nights. This morning, Azza, who I work with, came by so I could walk to work with her.

My first day went fine. Paul and Tarek were out of the office because of a lecture they had to give in Switzerland this weekend. So I worked on designing a business card most the day and just got familiar with how everything works. I learned how to make coffee, since it is different than in America and also how to flush the toilet at work. Hah. Lunch is nice because Tarek provides our meal and we all sit and eat together.

I am slowly understanding how things work here. I am afraid to venture too far out, for fear I won't be able to find my way back home. I still need to find a map of the city so I can get my bearings. So far everyone has gone out of their way to help me; Chris and Malenka fed me spaghetti for dinner and are going to help me get a phone. I have a phone number and sim card but no phone yet.

So far everything that happens sounds very mundane, but it's been a lot for me. I think I'm going to really enjoy this and it will definitely be a learning experience in and outside of design.

giornale

I made a journal! I finally used the leather and blank book I purchased in Roma. End pages are some fabric scraps I found around the house… Now I can start fresh on my next adventure.

the books in my life

My bed right now is full of books. I just glanced at it and I have an array of choices: a book on the artist Miro, some fiction of Madame Bovary, a travel book on Holland and another book about knowing God. I stopped by the library today to pick up this book on Miro, I had seen it the other day but it was too large for me to carry home on my bike. Today was too chilly to ride my bike, but once I got into the library I noticed the book nook was open. Oooo what a delight for me. I lose myself when I am in a room filled with books, especially when they are cheap. I left with a few new purchases including books by Haruki Murakami, Naguib Mahfouz, and Virginia Woolf. This made me happy except for the fact that my book collection keeps growing and my space is shrinking and my time has not allowed me to read half of what I own right now. Perhaps if I don't make any friends in Holland I will be reading in my spare time.

I have nine days to finish preparing for Holland. I've been ordering a few things and I hope it all comes in time before the big flight. How do you prepare yourself for something so unknown? How do I prepare for a future where I have the facts but only the experience will lead me to my actions and needs? I live in the present yet imagine an ideal home and people that are awaiting me. I want to fall in love with some place and someone. Not these quixotic ideas that fill my head, not these people that touch my life; yet are not in it. They are either in the past or do not exist yet. Not these places and countries that become something else after I leave. I want the present to fill me with joy now. But is this possible? We are marked and led by society. A society, whether we acknowledge it or not, that controls us in a sense. It controls our sense of truth and boundaries. Our morals. Our actions. But society only alters the "sense" or "feeling" of these things. It doesn't dictate Truth or change Truth, although it may seem like it. That is only human alterations, not the absolute Truth that coexists along with this society.

I do believe we can find joy now. That joy runs deep, we can be sad and be filled with joy. I find joy in Christ, in believing that this God will convict me of my actions. Will turn me around when I am wrong. If I can remain open and understanding, if I can remain available to Him always. If I can be honest in the most raw sense possible to my God, I believe we can get past the perils of society. We can't completely avoid nor block out the way life is. But we can be aware of the fact that it can be controlling in a destructive way. Not always, but it is there. And these quixotic ideas that float around me may be possible too. They may just happen and become my reality.

Where dreams end and illusions begin…

Two weeks before I leave for Holland. Kind of an odd standstill yet rapid time. Not much to write but I feel compelled to. I finally finished a book I've been reading for a while, The Image: A Guide to Pseudo – Events in America by Daniel J. Boorstin. It actually had some fantastic stuff about how we deceive ourselves; create these ideal images and extravagant expectations. We've fallen in love with the image of the world and our lives rather than what it really is. Yet that is what it is now. An image. This is something I easily do when I think of going abroad, and I should keep it in mind this time as well. I wonder if it would make a difference?

Each of us must disenchant himself, must moderate his expectations, must prepare himself to receive messages coming in from the outside. The first step is to begin to suspect that there may be a world out there, beyond our present or future power to image or to imagine…We should try to reach outside our images. We should seek new ways of letting messages reach us; from our own past, from God, from the World which we may hate or think we hate.To give visas to strange and alien and outside notions. Notions of which neither we nor the Communists have ever dreamed and which we can never see in our mirror. One of our grand illusions is the belief in a "cure." There is no cure. There is only the opportunity for discovery. For this the New World gave us a grand, unique beginning.

…We must discover our illusions before we can even realize that we have been sleepwalking. The least and the most we can hope for is that each of us may penetrate the unknown jungle of images in which we live our daily lives. That we may discover anew where dreams end and where illusions begin. This is enough. Then we may know where we are, and each of us may decide for himself where he wants to go.

holl and oats

[The Netherlands] is popularly known for its windmills, cheese, clogs (wooden shoes), delftware and gouda pottery, dikes, tulips, bicycles, and social tolerance. A Parliamentary democracy, the country is also known for its somewhat liberal policies toward drugs, prostitution, gay rights, abortion, and euthanasia. —Wikipedia

This shall be my home next.

the end.

Last week I decided to give up. I cannot keep sitting at home waiting for emails to return from firms that may never contact me or who love my work but cannot offer me an internship until next spring. If I could go back I would do things much differently. But I've gained some great contacts and I know it does not stop here.

I realized I've had complete tunnel vision and have pushed God out of the picture in allowing Him to control any aspect of this job search. But actually He probably has been controlling this in the way it has worked out. So last Saturday I told God, "I give up." I put it in His hands and said if I heard nothing back by the end of the week I would focus my attention on finding a job in Minneapolis. This was almost a relief, to give up control which I should have let go from the beginning, and that I had said all along I was giving up, but I was only lying to myself. So at that point I sent one last portfolio to a firm in Hilversum, Holland who is looking for an intern in November. They got back to me quickly, said they were interested and once I gave my definitive answer they would phone interview me and two other applicants.

I have an interview tomorrow.

So I have let go. I'm okay if I don't get this. Perhaps my pride will hurt but that's already been done quite a bit lately. I'm ready to settle down as well and find an apartment in Minneapolis, so that will either be sooner or in a few months.

It's so much better when you stop lying to yourself and actually let God rule in your life.

London is still in the back of my head. Perhaps it's time to go somewhere new though. And there's always the possibility of interning after the New Year when they actually want me. Timing is just getting in the way and I suppose that's just how it's going to be.

the end.

gpas

my lovely grandma and bubba in oshkosh

resolute

Everything is more complicated. I am holding my head high and pressing on. I received more determination yesterday when I was told that I am young, London is what I want and not to let anyone or thing hold me back. I need to stop making excuses and keep pressing people for a job. I say all this because I cannot be given a start date to the internship I was offered, which complicates everything. I am trying to contact firms again and adamantly ask for an internship straight away.

I yearn for my creativity to begin again. I bought some incense to get me in the mood. hah. I'm letting things slip by while I get everything straightened out with London. I really need "let go and let God" on this one. I really trust Him in all of this.

quiet

Everything has been a whirl. I just spent a week in England with my mom. I lined up nine interviews by just cold calling everyone and asking them to look at my stuff. I was surprised at the response I received overall, and how positive everyone was. The downside was many don't have the facilities to hire someone—they were firms of two people— but I was offered a placement (internship) at a really great firm and so I think I will take it. The biggest thing is just getting over there and being available.

I realized the other day, as I was talking to an old friend of mine and her mom, that as I was answering the thing I liked most about Rome, it was the peacefulness. That the park and neighborhood I could escape to was one of my favourite parts. And as I think about London, and this fast paced city, I look forward to being a part of it but also knowing I have a quiet solitude to return to someday. London won't be forever, right now it looks like it will only be for six months but it's something I want to experience. To just go on my own and learn from some of the best.

strike a match

i am in london. the tube is down for three days because of a strike. one line is running—the jubilee. worthless.

house warmings and home leavings.

We spent last night up in Minneapolis at Lindsey and Megan's new place. We danced all night and talked to the randoms coming in and out of the diet rite bar across the street. I am completely exhausted after a few hours sleep and driving to and from Minneapolis.

I leave for London tomorrow. I am in a state of neutrality. No emotion right now except feeling weary. I am so grateful for my mom coming along. It would be a lot scarier without her but I also realize this is really hard on her and for her. To not only watch her daughter attempt a move to a foreign country but to be an accomplice in it. I am indebted to her sacrifices.

I was wondering…

Why are we so harsh on the homosexual community for living in sin and going against the Bible; yet we say nothing about those who are divorced or any other matter which society has deemed okay but goes against The Word of God?. Matthew 5:31-32 says "It has been said, 'Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.' But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery." Does that mean anyone who has remarried is living in constant sin? Why have we become so lax on this command and so harsh upon others? How can we pick and choose? What is really right?

It's so hard when societal values turn into second nature to us, which makes it hard to step away and say something is right or wrong when it goes against most people in our culture.

This is merely a perception I made as I was reading today.

the sqeaky wheel gets the grease

New things about me: I have a plane ticket to London, I live with my parents, I have 6 interviews with more pending, I made a website www.brittnimorgan.com, my beagle seems to love me more lately (I take her on walks).

I feel myself slowly take steps closer to God. I guess I was kind of away for a while, not in a blatant rejection kind of way, but consciously making decisions to distract myself from pursuing God. It's hard, and I still easily choose to read Harry potter, check my email or watch Dr.Phil over taking time to rest my mind and focus on God. The problem is I'm really selfish, and I seek God but most of the time it's from selfish pursuit, and so when I cry out for help I expect something to magically happen without me doing a thing. So I'm finally taking time to read the bible. Really read and understand the meaning of the words before me. I'm tired of getting tripped up on what is truth and if I'm interpreting it correctly. I'm just trying to see what the words tell me within context.

I began reading Matthew, and honestly, I have always skipped over the Gospels for the most part. I think I felt like I knew the message and I'd rather read old testament stories and other chapters I knew less. But as I began reading I saw things about Jesus' character I hadn't realized before. And how the heck am I supposed to strive to be like Jesus if I don't even recognize his true demeanor and repertoire. What stood out was this: when Jesus was tempted, it was the Holy Spirit which led Him to the Desert. I'm not exactly sure what this means but I find it very intriguing, and need to spend more time thinking about this. Secondly, Jesus refuses to put God to the test. I think this is something we try to do often in our lives. We try and prove God, we ask something to happen just for the sake of it because we think God should be at our beck and call. But as I look into my selfishness I see I've got it all wrong, that we should be living for God Himself, to worship Him, and this isn't a selfish thing for Him, because he is ultimate Love. Why wouldn't we dedicate our lives to that? The last thing I noticed was Jesus gathered four disciples before he began preaching. I think this shows the support and community He needed just like we need to today.

I honestly want to continue to understand Jesus better, to know how to handle situations, to be a loving friend whose actions and words are upon Biblical Truths. So much is changing. So much is unknown. And at this time I am my optimistic self, I just hope I can stay this way. And I realized tonight, after having coffee with an old friend how much I have missed laughter. It felt really good to laugh like I did tonight and enjoy the rawness of being ridiculous.